I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize