did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
well I can't set my house on fire every night
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
