once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
We need to get me chipped asap
Randomize
