I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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