the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize