Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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