Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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