from now on my penis is your penis
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
