i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
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