booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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