Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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