You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
