Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
where am i from again
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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