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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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