??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
How does one acquire holy water?
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Randomize
