He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize