i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
