he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize