So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
