You made me cry and you don't even care
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Randomize
