What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
