I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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