At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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