Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Randomize
