Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
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