3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
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