dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
