It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
