they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
