1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
