no. you can't hotbox the world.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
