you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize