Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
