Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
