coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
