I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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