you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
