he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
