He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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