everyone is single if you try hard enough
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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