In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize