I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Randomize
