I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I have aggressive nipples.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
