Cold hands, warm shart.
then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
