it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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