Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Randomize
