all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
