went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
