why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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