I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
