I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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