did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Randomize
