I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Randomize
