I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
