Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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