she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
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