How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
It's rum buckets o'clock
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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