What a fucking waste of an outfit
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
