So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
How external is "for external use only"?
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Randomize