ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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