I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
