Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
How does one acquire holy water?
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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