She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Why is your signature on my underwear?
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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