he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
This gyro tastes like lonliness
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize
