is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
sex in a hospital.. check
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
